Citizen John

The most frequently asked question I receive besides, "How do you get up so early?" is "How did you become a DJ?" Well, I started by working overnight freight crew at a popular food chain lifting 50-lb bags of dog food and accidentally slicing my fingers on a box-cutter. I did this in part because I could blast my CDs through an amazing sound system previously used to enchant shoppers with Muzak. The graveyard shift also gave me time to hatch my plan of world domination. First, I had to move to Seattle from Spokane. Once here, I needed to find a new semipublic place where I could play my stereo. This quest led me to the fast-paced world of dishwashing. As any dishwasher'll tell you, it's great: You get to listen to whatever you want for eight hours a day and you're able to map out your entire future as you work—and without ripping the skin off your hands. Next up was delivery driver. Not only are you in control of the stereo in your car, but you are also driving in Seattle, so no one, not your boss or your customer, complains when you are late. Unfortunately, my stereo broke and I realized that not only was this the worst job on earth but I was destroying my only means of transportation for minimal pay. This brought me to the realization that it was time for school, time to learn important things that would help me work in the music business. I enrolled at the University of Washington just in time for them to whittle the communications program down to a hollow shell. Unfortunately, that same week I broke my ankle, preventing me from doing manual labor. My chances looked slim for entry into the world of entertainment. In this haze of rejection and injury, I wandered into KCMU. I told them I had no job, I had no life, and I would work for free doing whatever it was they needed. This is exactly what people in the music world want to hear. Young, desperate, FREE labor. Now that I have a title and a place in the world of music, I have the authority to tell you to go

get the new Macha/Bedhead collaboration, Macha Loved Bedhead, out on Jetset Records. It just stinks of wonderfulness. I wash my dishes to it every night.

You can hear what minimum education, minimum wage, and minimum responsibility sounds like on the Morning Show on 90.3 FM Monday through Friday from 6 to 10am or on the Web at

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