News Clips— Slade: Soliciting?

POOR SLADE. First he gets overlooked for attorney general, now the P-I reports he's grubbing for the No. 3 DOJ post as solicitor general. (Surgeon general was never an option.) Well, if that doesn't work out, he'll be glad to know that there are some other lesser-known general gigs in the W. administration:

Inspector General: Opens mail, empties wastebaskets.

Deliverer General: Gets coffee, delivers pizza to White House.

Swindler General: Steals land from Native Americans.

Terminator General: Ends equal opportunity and school lunch programs.

Segregator General: Keeps suburban schools minority-free.

Obfuscator General: Cloaks right-wing W. policies with inscrutable legalese.

Fisher General: Abrogates Native American fishing rights.

Poker General: Pokes Cheney to keep him awake during meetings.

Inquisitor General: Persecutes and tortures political opponents.

Enforcer General: Breaks legs, collects debts, whacks squealers.

Dishwasher General: Hey, it's a job!

Skeletor General: No additional qualifications required.

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