News Clips— Campaign training log: Day 1

NOVEMBER'S GRUDGE MATCH between incumbent Mayor Paul Schell and City Attorney Mark Sidran promises to be a no-holds-barred brawl between two fierce heavyweight pols. Both candidates have already embarked upon rigorous training routines for their coming combat. This WWF-style smackdown will offer all the blood and excitement we expect from our municipal elections—in a steel cage!



6am: Rises before dawn, runs 10 miles, swims from Pier 59 to Alki and back, cold shower.

6am: Sleeps late.

9am: 100 push-ups and sit-ups between meetings.

9am: Triple latte, extra foam.

10am: Challenges staff to repeatedly punch his rock-hard abs while he screams, "C'mon, harder, you pussies! I can take it!"

10am: Muffin break!

11am: Runs up 55 flights of stairs at Washington Mutual Tower wearing backpack filled with manhole covers—twice.

11am: Nap.

12pm: On lunch break, spars bare-knuckled with frozen sides of beef.

12pm: Four-course meal at Campagne. Two desserts.

2pm: During meetings, tears a dozen phone books in half with bare hands.

2pm: Nap.

5pm: Before continuing his workday till midnight, takes break to wrestle with ravenous wild cougar kept locked in City Hall basement. (Afterwards, e-mails Department of Fish and Wildlife to find new cougar with "more spunk.")

5pm: Cocktail hour. Dinner at Rover's. In bed by 8.

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