THEN: Romantic weekend getaways in Vancouver, Canada.
NOW: Afternoon trysts at Vancouver, Wash., Motel 6.
THEN: Fresh cases of beaujolais nouveau from Pete's Market.
NOW: Chilean box wine from Costco.
THEN: Starting off the children at Lakeside in the fifth grade.
NOW: Put up kids for involuntary adoption before they hit college age.
THEN: Top-of-the-line Wolf ranges.
NOW: Hunt on the range to feed family.
THEN: Washington Athletic Club.
NOW: Jack LaLanne videos from public library.
THEN: Spending sprees at Pacific Place.
NOW: "Family vacations" to North Bend Outlet Mall.
THEN: Cosmetic teeth whitening.
NOW: Convert all assets to gold; wear safely in mouth, Nelly-style.
THEN: Commuting to work in BMW X5 (15 mpg, city).
NOW: Cling to Metro bus bike racks.
THEN: Cigar lounge at El Gaucho.
NOW: Redeem Newport coupons.
THEN: Creating exotic Japanese-style Zen garden behind your Madrona craftsman.
NOW: License wildcatters to build oil derrick in backyard.
THEN: Five-course meal at the Herbfarm.
NOW: Bottomless fries at Red Robin.
THEN: Keeping up with new DVD releases.
NOW: Refresh stale titles by watching with alternate language tracks.
THEN: Expensively remodeling Ravenna trophy home.
NOW: Repurpose home for cottage industries—e.g., ostrich farm, puppy mill, or having the children sew soccer-ball covers on a cost-competitive level with Pakistan. ("No TV until you meet your daily quota!")
THEN: Copper River salmon.
NOW: Three-eyed Commencement Bay sea bass.
THEN: A comprehensive citywide monorail system.
NOW: $5 monorail snow globes for every citizen!
THEN: Porn on digital cable.
NOW: Neighborhood voyeurism.
THEN: Treating that special someone to expensive dates at Cascadia.