A DOON All-Star strikes again! What with Ryan Adams socked away in Europe and all, we feared for the un-juiciness of this week's column; thank the good lord, then, for our old pal Courtney Love. The indefatigable musician/actress/all-around kookball is at it with Web scandal sniffer thesmokinggun.com, which is currently posting an investigative report by the California Medical Board that details Love's involvement with Dr. Jules Lusman, one of the many men responsible for keeping her buddy Winona up to her dilated pupils in pills. Doctor Feelgood allegedly supplied Love with injectable Demerol, syringes, Ambien, Xanax, and Vicodin "on a cash-and-carry basis," which basically means without either examination or medical necessity, over the course of "dozens of at-home visits." The document describes the lady in question as a "fairly well-known" female musician also known as "Ms. C.L-C., as she had at one point been married to Mr. C., who had passed away." Figure that one out, Sherlock. Anyways, Love's lawyer has wasted no time threatening legal action and sent the site a four-page letter that included this statement: "My client, who is not shy about asserting her legal rights, has authorized the commencement of all necessary litigation if the story is not immediately removed from your Web site. You have been warned. This is a matter of the utmost seriousness. Govern yourself accordingly." Apparently though, TSG's legal counsel says the site is well within their rights, so the shit stays. . . . Quickly on her way to all-star DOON status is one Miss Kelly Osbourne, whose total lack of inner monologue is proving extremely entertaining. At a recent radio show in New York, she loyally continued the family feud that began when mom Sharon booted Billy Corgan as her client back in 2000. The younger Osbourne explained the presence of Corgan's new band, Zwan, thusly: "Billy and Zwan are only on the bill cuz he sucked the program director off." Bless her little heart. . . .
Speaking of unwarranted attacks, petite techno gazillionaire Moby did indeed take a beating last week in Boston. Following a radio-station-sponsored holiday show, the artist was jumped by three men while on his way to his car; one of the assailants punched him in the back of the head, breaking his glasses and cutting and bruising his face, before another maced him and ran. Moby says he's OK, despite some bruising and puffiness, and has asked his attackers to step up via his Web site and explain their motives, since he is still "quite confused." . . . If you were confused by the lack of musical guests on last Monday's Jay Leno, here's the story: Five-minutes-ago Next Big Thing the Vines were kicked off the set after causing "general destruction" during an afternoon rehearsal. Lead singer Craig Nicholls allegedly smashed the Plexiglas barrier surrounding the drums, and otherwise managed to piss off the show's producers to the point where the band was asked to leave and not come back. Crazy kids. . . . You can, however, see your other favorite band on TV soon enough; former Tri-Cities small-timers turned major-label big shots Loudermilk will appear on Dawson's Creek on Jan. 22. In the meantime, tipster Kevin tells us the band is now refuting the fact that they were once a Guns N' Roses cover band, though they recently showed an amazing Axl-like ability to bail on bookings. Following a Seattle appearance last Friday, the band was scheduled for a homecoming of sorts at Walla Walla's the Underground, but they cancelled the day of the show, leaving an all-ages crowd in the lurch. For shame. . . . The list of indie boys turning pro now includes the Mooney Suzuki, whose record Electric Sweat is getting the major-label rerelease on Columbia. We wish them well. . . . And all you Wilco superfans, rejoice. The band will release a six-track EP in February, containing three new songs (among them "A Magazine Called Sunset" and the live staple
"Bob Dylan's 49th Beard") alongside alternate versions of Yankee Hotel Foxtrot material. . . . As quickly as it began, it looks like it's over for the Continental, at least as far as live music goes. The freshly minted Capitol Hill venue was forced to go acoustic on a recent night, and the police say it's a no go until the building receives proper insulation and permits. . . . The Paradox is also riding off into the sunset as of Feb. 2, but the staff will continue to put on shows around town as Paradox Theatre Productions and are currently looking for a new facility. . . . We are happy for Cursive singer/guitarist Tim Kasher, who has recovered enough from his collapsed lung earlier this year to tour again in early 2003 in support of the band's upcoming record. We are sad, however, to hear of the untimely death of Stereolab's Mary Hansen. The native Australian was killed last Monday when a car backed into her bicycle as she rode through central London. She was 36.
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