Oh, Please, Not France


Loads of Internet incoming from last week's "Conservative Crybabies" column, especially from many of our friends on the talk-radio right. They seemed to think that Mossback is the real crybaby: "What the hell is a Knute Berger? Who the hell is Knute Berger? And why in the hell do we have to listen to your swill? Talk about whiners—you seem to be the biggest crybaby of them all. . . . signed, Angry American." Note to Angry: Listening to swill can cause an ear infection; next time try eating it.

Others helpfully pointed out that there were many countries Mossback could move to, such as Cuba. Scott, who describes himself as living in "Occupied Marin County," writes: "Better move to France . . . just wait until next election." Oh, not France! Isn't that where they bulldoze McDonald's and make you drink fine wine and have lots of sex? The horror.

One correspondent summed up his views: "You, sir, are a liberal piece of shit!"

Another astute reader, Matthew, noted that in the column, I admitted I had not read Michael Savage's best-selling book: "Talk about judging a book by its cover. Literally. . . . " Note to Matthew: I did worse than judge the book by its cover— I judged it by its jacket blurb, and I could barely read that without gagging.

OK, make what you will of this, but I received two positive e-mails from folks in Texas, including one who seemed to think my column was the equivalent of Radio Free Europe for liberal Texans. Have Jim Hightower and Molly Ivins fled to an undisclosed location? Sounds like we need to send in some humanitarian aid.

For others, the idea of conservative conquest acts like Viagra: "Next France, North Korea, Cuba, and then Seattle commie libs!!! Go George Bush." Adds Bo from Huntsville, Ala.: "Go smoke another joint and get over it, sissy boy. From the sounds of it, you liberals are doing all the crying. You're right, we are coming after Seattle next!" Another added a note after his screed: "P.S.: I love your city!" Note to Convention and Visitors Bureau: You can't say Seattle Weekly never did anything to promote tourism to this town.


The Seattle Post-Intelligencer's globe still turns, but with new spring in its spin because on Monday, Dave Horsey became the paper's two-time Pulitzer Prizewinning cartoonist. It is much deserved, and Seattle Weekly readers might have noted the detailed analysis of Horsey's recent work by author Jonathan Raban in these pages just a couple of weeks ago, where he described Horsey's "heartfelt and persistent criticism" of the Bush administration, saying that his "drawings of the 43rd president show him as a scrawny, simian-featured homunculus with a childish predilection for dressing up." Shoot, maybe Horsey deserves a Nobel, too. Horsey is one of the P-I's crown jewels (Art Thiel and Joel Connelly are two others). They are among the best arguments for keeping Seattle a two-newspaper town. Could any of these guys flourish at Fairview Fanny? Hard to imagine.

Also, props to KOMO-TV's Ken Schram, who has emerged as one of the best columnists in town. His man-from-the-streets shtick works, and better yet, he's actually willing to say something. Last week, he got noticed for taking on the abovementioned P-I for taking a cheap shot at TV war coverage. Schram, defending his medium, said, Don't paint us all with the same brush, after all, "sure, we've got Geraldo Rivera. They've got the National Enquirer. We both have our crosses to bear." Then he dinged the P-I for running reviews of military field rations. The bearded, latte-toting Schram seems finally comfortable in this commentator incarnation—an improvement over his "Town Meeting" days playing mediator with a microphone. Now that media critic Schram is out of the box, maybe he can zap his own company for covering the "Support the Troops" rally in Bellevue that was (like some other rallies) partly organized by KVI-AM radio and featured protest signs with their call letters. No doubt, the hot talkers are sincere in their politics, but KOMO should have disclosed KVI's role to viewers and noted that both are owned by Fisher Broadcasting.

And speaking of shameless self- promotion, I must note that this Friday, April 11, is the last of Seattle Weekly's sponsored Town Hall Soapbox forums. Here, you can listen—and perhaps join—your fellow Seattleites as they speak from the heart about war, peace, and the world situation. The last couple of months, these Soapboxes have been lively, inspiring, and sometimes frustrating. It really takes guts (or you gotta be nuts) to get up on that big white box in front of a crowd and tell people what you think, and so my thanks to all of those who participated. This week, the Town Hall doors open at 6:30; admission is $5 for the Soapbox and the following forum, which will feature former Clinton arms control ambassador Thomas Graham on the subject of proliferation (see details at www.seattleweekly.com).

Join us while speaking your mind in public is still possible, like in France.


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