The Strange & the Merely Odd


The Strange & the Merely Odd

  • The Strange & the Merely Odd

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    I have some advice for guys and girls in Seattle who are having a hard time finding someone there. Leave. Go somewhere else. Anywhere outside of the Greater Puget Sound will do. No career, coffee shop, or mountain trail is worth staying there for, when you can't find a good mate. Any time that I ever traveled more than 100 miles in any direction, I got fucked and sucked silly by a superhot woman. When I was in "The Sound," it was a sexual wasteland. I have pondered it over and over, but I have no idea why this was. I have no mojo in Seattle. I am lusted after elsewhere. Go figure.


    I'm going to let you in on a secret here. It doesn't matter where you're from or where you go (with the exception of L.A. or New York Citymere mortals don't get laid in either of those places), you're always more appealing out of your element. If you were a Chicagoan visiting Seattle, you'd get a piece, and the reverse holds as well. The reason is simple: Peeps love the Strange. You move into an unfamiliar place, and you're the new kid. Suddenly you're fascinating, and gorgeous strangers want to put your wiener in their mouths. Sorry bub, but that's only because they don't know you. Not that you're not a handsome and delightful fellow, but stick around anywhere and you'll find your appeal decreases dramatically as you linger.

    I am a gay man and find most gay men to be annoying. I didn't have sex until I was 21 and had my first boyfriend, who I was with for a year. My second boyfriend I was with for three years, until I became burnt out on long-term relationships, feeling that dating and experiencing more was a good road to take for a while. I dated many men in four years, but came back to my ex. He ended up being a Jekyll and Hyde, and I am now not dating. Instead, I'm limiting my sexual contact in the hope that it will strengthen my ability to find more strong, confident, masculine, intelligent gay men like myself, while being verbally forward and true to my nature of a strong, educated, sensitive Leo.

    I feel gay men fall into a trap of one-night stands out of fear of rejection and for the rush of energy that comes from the next cute boy's body in their bed. I have noticed that once I left the small, petty, vacant vanity my ego can cripple me with, I saw my self-esteem skyrocket. I also feel that 99.9 percent of gay men have lost their hearts to the same power that has given society the ability to keep us a minorityfear.

    If you give a man your power, he will use it to his selfish advantage, no matter how much of a genuine heart you feel you have.


    Hi Vernon. I am a straight woman, and I find most humansregardless of gender or sexual orientationannoying.

    But that's beside the point. Vernon, you and I both have to work on something. We have to stop generalizing. You have to stop making blanket statements about gay men. And if you do that, I promise to do the same regarding their straight brethren.

    You also have to quit reading your horoscope and fire your therapist. Oh, and no more 12-step meetings. Now I know you didn't mention anything about your shrink or the rooms, but please; I'd have to be an amateur not to sniff out the nicotine/coffee-fueled stench of recovery on you. The Girl of Date is many things, but an amateur she ain't. Being in touch with your strong inner Leo is nice and shit, but your current level of self-absorption can be a wee bit irritating. Speaking as a fairly self-absorbed dame, I know what I'm talking about.

    Therapy can be a good thing. It can help you get through rough patches and discover strengths you never knew you had. But like beer, chocolate, and/or burritos, too much can give you gas. So quit with the rhetoric, let out a nice loud fart, and get on with your life.

    Let it all out: Write Dategirl at or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

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