Why familiarity breeds contempt has never been clear to me. It seems that humans are predisposed to getting bored with the same old thing after a while. So without seeming crazy and/or desperate, how would you go about maintaining a decent interest level from others? Is there a formula I could use that would help make me openly lusted after, by all women, everywhere, all the time? I know about being clean, dressing well, smiling, making girls laugh (preferably with me, instead of at me), having money, etc. I just wonder what else I can do to get to the point of it all.
Short of morphing into a big-dicked bazillionaire ringer for George Clooney, there's no way you're going to appeal to all women, all the time. (Hell, I don't even think George Clooney is all that. . . . ) More than being rich, foxy, and powerful, the key to keeping someone's interest is to be both interesting and, most important, interested.
Did you ever meet someone who, when you spoke to them, made you feel like the most fascinating, witty, articulate, handsome man ever to draw breath? Suddenly you go from being Scott in Accounting to Scott, the Star of Our Show. He's a hottiehe's Scottie! (And the crowd goes wild!)
Those who can pull off making other people feel that special rarely go home aloneunless they want to.
The secret to this kind of success is really quite obvious. Most men I meet rarely ask me anything about myself. This is annoying, to say the least. Please note that this is not a Judy-specific phenomenon my girlfriends bitch and moan about the same thing constantly. So when one of us stumbles across a guy who actually asks us questions and then listens to the answers, it's like finding a genuine diamond ring in a Cracker Jack box. (I usually wind up with the caramel-covered nuts.) Sure, this plan sounds like a no-brainer, but listen to yourself the next time you're out. If your first five sentences start with "I," it's time to check yourself.
I ran into an ex a few weeks back and listened in horrified awe as he droned on and on about all the excitement at his job. Apparently the life of a 35-year-old video store clerk is far more challenging than I'd ever fathomed. Did he ask even once what I'd been up to? Nope. Did I offer? Nope again. But as I fled, I poked myself in the eye as hard as I could as punishment for putting up with his sorry ass for so long.
Oh, and don't just practice the question/ answer technique on girls you want to sleep with. Because all broads have friends, and once you get a rep for being a charming guy, you're in. We girls talk, you know.
I know it's not the secret panty-removing handshake you were trawling for, but that's some damned good advice I've just dispensed. If I do say so myself.
A "friend" of mine refuses to date me, but clearly nothing physically about me bothers her. She claims "personal reasons," and says we can't be more than friends (at least officially).
I know lots of guys would love to be in my situation, but this is not what I want.
How interesting . . . someone who treated me the same way your special friend is treating you was also initialed L.S.! I was OK to whine to and fool around with, but no matter how many times his dick was in me, we were always "just friends" as far as he was concerned. Sweet pea, you're being played like I was being played. The damage this kind of scenario does to your ego and your psyche is devastating. Plus, feeling bad about yourself makes you fat and gives you pimples and wrinkles. Time to say bye-bye to this bitch. Immediately. Cutting things off cold turkey hurts like hell (and believe me, I'm still sad about that boy), but at least I know I did the right thing. And when I run into him, it won't be my eye I'm poking.
For damned good advice, write Dategirl at firstname.lastname@example.org or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.