Damsels in Distress

Why must we coddle these idiot "nice women" who are so blind to the interworkings of the grand passion play?

Why should men settle for Sister Love companionship? Some men still believe in love + sex + passion and continue to look for it . . . bravoooooooo. Nice women just make too many excuses for their lack of lust for the men they are trying to capture. Nice women need to stop brainwashing men into settling for their sick mommy games. It is not love vs. sex. Get a clue. There are three things going on here: LOVE + SEX + PASSION. All three elements must be present before enlightened human beings will commit. That's why it is so hard to match up you sick-O's.

Whore With a Graduate Degree

You, my dear, are an inspiration. When I have arguments with the voices in my head, I'm too chicken to tell anybody about them. I guess I'm just weak that wayI am afraid people will think I've gone round the bend if I start screaming at myself in fury because I still occasionally entertain lewd thoughts about the jackass who gutted me this past fall. When I feel compelled to slap myself silly for wearing the too-short skirt on a cold day, I quickly catch myself and sit on my hands to prevent further outbursts. (Some days it's like a war zone inside this noggin.)

But not you. You are right out there ranting aloud (well, on paper), telling off those imaginary friends, with nary a care that some might think you a kook. I, for one, salute your moxie! I don't recall ever advising women to get into relationships with men they don't want to fuck, but perhaps you were reading the column I wrote using invisible ink that is only visible to superheroes (or whores with graduate degrees).

Why do so many men perceive women as desperate, needy creatures who just can't wait to get into a relationship? What makes these men automatically think they are perfect for me and that I am the one who needs to audition for the part of "Girlfriend" (not a leading role, by the way) in the play called "His Perfect Life"?

What about me? I have a college degree and a career. I had a great life before I met you, and should I decide that you are not the right guy for me, I will continue to have a great life long after you are gone!

At the same time, I hate to play the "Hard-to-Get, Snobby Bitch Game!" If I am really interested in somebody, I like to spend time with them. I like to share (some) of my feelings with them. Why is this perceived as such a weakness and so often taken for granted? Why do a lot of men assume they can have whatever they want without even trying?

Easy to Meet, Hard to Keep

Weak men are threatened by strong women. In order to overcome this perceived threat, these pantywaists project neediness and insanity onto us (often pissing us off in the process) to make themselves feel superior. And let's face it, there are a lot of loony ladies running around out there. The thing is, many (not all) men dig mental cases, and when they meet someone who isn't demanding jewelry for their two-week "anniversary" and/or shrieking like a harridan 24/7, they think there's something wrong with her.

Another thing these guys do is drive sane dames nuts (witness your vitriol). I dated one charmer who claimed early on that he normally dated lunatics and, boy, wasn't he relieved to finally meet someone who had her shit together. He then proceeded to embark upon a pattern of behavior that would've caused Terri Schiavo to spring up outta her coma and slap him silly.

What we need to do is find sane, strong men who like no-bullshit broads who speak their mind. There aren't many of those guys running around out there, but we have to put on our Sherlock Holmes hats and seek them out. Just say no to dopes. Being a straight-up girl isn't easy, but it's our lot. I've resigned myself to it. I suggest you do the same.

Got something on your mind? Write Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

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