Working Girls

There is a guy at work that I've been flirting with. Predictably, I started to develop feelings for him. The snag in this is that he's in a relationship and has been for the last couple of years. He stated that they were having problems (I know they all say that), and my feelings overrode my judgment; I ended up at his place, and, well, we had sex.

Now things are awkward, and I've still got feelings for him that are making things difficult for me at work, especially since all I want to do is jump him when he walks by. What should I do? Knocking off the girlfriend isn't an option. I'll admit I've thought of it, but knowing my luck, I'd get caught.

Yawn. What should you do? You should grow the hell up and quit banging other people's boyfriends. I once had an ex with a problematic co-worker. This skag would hang all over my boyfriend at company parties (that I was also attending) and tell me how lucky I was to have such a big handsome man. (Actually, as she was a fan of the dread baby talk, it was more like she'd tell me how "wucky" I was.) I suspected there was something going on between them, but he would always deny it. I found it hard to fathom that he'd be interested in a tap-dancing adult who dressed and spoke like she was 8 years old, so I believed him for a while.

But unlike most taken men, he actually left me for her. "Ah," you're thinking. "That could happen to me." Erm, yeah, it could. Within a year of leaving me, he was diagnosed with brain cancer, and she spent the following year and a half cleaning his dirty man-diapers and watching as his formerly brilliant brain turned to mush. Then he died. You might say she won. I'd beg to differ.

I live in the Seattle area, and I have found myself on the East Coast working for the summer. I've met a delightful guy, whom I adore. It's bad enough that I almost don't want to come home. But I hate the East Coast. Anyway, my problem is that I see him a lot and I enjoy spending time with him, but I fly home in four weeks. I don't want to get too attached. I'm half-tempted to tell my job to shove it and hop on the next plane home, or maybe tell the boy out here that I can't see him anymore. I think I'm going to run away for the weekend, maybe have a one-night stand, and forget about him. And to top it all off, we've only been seeing each other for three weeks and he told me he loves me. Isn't that freaky? I've attributed that to the deliriously drunken state we were both in when the sentence was uttered, and asked him not to mention it again. Any advice you may have would be most welcome.

Your Faithful Servant,


Heather, you've got to calm down. Take a deep breath, and quit being such a chickenshit. You've been seeing him for three weeks; you've got four more to go. That's more time than you've spent with him already! You'll know better then if it's worth it to freak out about the miles potentially separating you. Just think of all the idiotic crap he could possibly pull in the next month. What's the longest you've ever seen a guy go without doing something mind- blowingly stupid? Believe me, he's being delightful on borrowed time. He'll piss you off soon enough.

Or not. And this is the scary part. Maybe he is one of those rare well-behaved fellas we've never seen on the Lifetime Channel. Maybe you'll fall in love back and you'll have a location issue to deal with. Really not a big deal in the grand scheme.

As for telling you he loved you too soon, it's been my experience that men always say it first. My latest said it around the three-week mark as well. I didn't know what to say (because I couldn't say that), so I lamely offered him a set of keys to my apartment as a sort of consolation prize. Perhaps you can give your guy a Star Wars action figure until you figure out how you're really feeling. In the meanwhile, I'd just enjoy it while you've got it, because believe you me, it's fleeting.

Not getting any? Write Dategirl at

dategirl@seattleweekly.comor c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

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