Since May, I have been in a relationship with a guy I'll call Organic David. He is in the early stages of recovering from the use of alcohol and drugs. A few months ago, he was in jail for what was close to a fatal motor vehicle accident. He was drinking while driving, and his ex-wife was thrown from the truck. He had a terrible childhood and was raised by his alcoholic father after his mother committed suicide. However, he is now sincerely trying to turn his life around. I felt sympathy and compassion for him. I myself had not been in a relationship for several years, was ready for a relationship, and decided to start one with him. I quickly fell in love.
During the first few weeks, he poured his attention and affection on heavy, and I loved it. But at the same time, he was just starting to date another woman, and soon I was part of a triangle. This enabled him to enjoy the company of us both but not get emotionally intimate with us. The other woman and I reluctantly agreed to this arrangement. We were both having sex with him knowing that he would be with the other lover within a day or two, and for me, this was very difficult. My moods have been to the extreme—very up and down. Recently, because she was not speaking to him, he had been spending all his time and affection on me, and I was fine. I was happy again. Now he is pining for her, and after all this, all I can do is leave him also! I feel hurt and exhausted. I regret having spent any time at all in this relationship, and had I followed my initial instincts, I would not have spent so much of my summer crying and in emotional pain.
Yes, well, loneliness can cause a woman to indulge in stupid behavior she'd normally never consider. In your case that stupid behavior came in the form of a drug-and-liquor-addled, emotionally crippled basket case.
Though he is a life form covered by skin and gifted with a presumably functional penis, you are not dealing with a man here. This jerk is a pestilent being. He nearly killed his last wife—what's he going to do for an encore? Oh, right, treat you and who knows how many other women like sperm receptacles. And yeah, too bad, he had a wretched childhood—get in line. I am so sick and tired of listening to whiny victims blame all manner of bad behavior on crap that happened decades ago. That's why God invented therapists.
I was watching my newly installed digital cable TV the other night and happened upon VH1's Confessions of Jenna Jameson. Very excited, I cracked open a beer, settled into the new ass-shaped dent in my sofa, and waited for the prurience to begin. But no. Once again, the viewing public is subjected to a whiny white girl who blames her rampant drug use and subsequent fucking-on-film career on the fact that her daddy didn't pay enough attention to her when she was a teensy widdle girl. Wah!
Please. What about all the fat, ugly girls whose daddies ignored them? What are they supposed to do? Fat, ugly chicks don't have the option of becoming multimillionaire porn stars. How are they supposed to express their pent-up rage? So not fair.
By the same token, how about all the millions of adult children of drunkypants parents—are they all running around, getting in almost-fatal drunken car wrecks? I think not. They're dealing with their problems in a constructive manner and parallel parking without incident, let alone carnage.
The best thing you will ever do for yourself is to cut this loser loose immediately. Even if you never see another naked man again (which I know is in the back of your mind and I assure you won't be the case), you'll be better off than if you let this fucked-up parasite drag another nice woman down with him.
And you call him Organic David? Though organic food is grown in manure, it's ultimately good for you (once you wipe the crap off). There's no wiping the shit off this toxic excuse for a man.
No more excuses. Write Dategirl at
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