The Missing Pink

I have a quick question for you. I am a very energetic, successful 50-year-old divorced male. (I've been single for three years.) I have had a few extended, excellent relationships with wonderful women since my divorce, but I have yet to find Ms. Right.

My question is, where does someone my age go to meet eligible 40-plus bachelorettes? I love live music, but most of the clubs in Seattle cater to a much younger audience. Any ideas?

Thanks a lot,


Why does everyone always ask me this? I swear, I get asked a variation on the ole "how do I meet someone" chestnut at least once a month. Why? Why can't I get the juicy letters other sex advice columnists seem to get? Aren't you worried about your sudden urge to watch obese women defecate? Can't you at least feign concern about your bestiality dreams? Sigh.

OK, even though I'm certain most of us (me especially!) are bored with this line of writing, I'm going to go over it. One. Last. Time.

Whether you're 18 or 80, the easiest way to get out there is to put yourself out there. You like live music but worry that the crowd's younger than you— go anyway. Old broads like music, too. And if you're the oldest guy in the room, so what? Do you have any idea how many chicks have daddy issues? I guarantee you that in any crowd of 100 chippies, there are at least one or two just itching to go home with a codger. So don't rule out the age inappropriate.

In fact, ruling out the at-first-glance inappropriate (no matter which way they happen to be ill-suited) is the quickest route to Lonelyville. Now, I'm not saying you should lower your standards, but try loosening them up a bit. Along with dating the scandalously younger than you, take a look at women a bit older than yourself. If you normally go for blondes, give a brunette or a redhead a tumble. Chubby chasers should give athletic or anorexic dames the once-over twice. See what I'm getting at here?

There is no magical place where one can go and select a mate. I've said this before, but dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to run into someone you want to play naked Scrabble with.

Online is obviously the easiest way to score yourself a ton of tail quickly. I met my boyfriend online, my friend Ivan hooked up with his now live-in the same way, and last month I attended the wedding of two friends who met in cyberspace. If you're not willing to at least give it a go, you're not allowed to complain about being lonely or horny.

The unimaginative do not good daters make. My dad met his beautiful wife after he cleverly started a widow and widower's group at his church. Sly fox that he is, of course the numbers were skewed in his favor. In fact, there was only one other man in the bunch, and that poor guy was practically on life support. Oh, and once Daddy Dearest scored my sweet stepmom, he cruelly disbanded the group.

Being alert is another hallmark of the successful dater. A friend of mine who was in the market for a Vespa met several foxy men and a woman she dated for a while (being bisexual is also a good way to open the market up a bit!) while browsing at the scooter shop. My buddy Wolfgang always had eyes for a friend of a friend, but it seemed that when one was single, the other was not. Three years into the push-me/pull-you dance and they finally hooked up a couple months back.

The office is another hotbed of hookups. I know, I know . . . you're not supposed to shit where you eat, but shit, as they say, happens. My baby brother met his wife at the dreary insurance company they both toiled at, and I stumbled upon an LTR the exact same way. (And my man wonders why I sometimes get a little paranoid about the hotties he works with!)

So you see, the answer isn't so much where you go as how you go.

Freaky fetishes? Dirty dreams? Write Dategirl at or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

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