Fact: It's now uncool to spazz about a band just because it got big overnight thanks to the Power of the Internet (MP3 blogs, MySpace, etc.). Also fact: It's even uncool to point out that it's uncool. Late-breaking fact: As I wrote that, it just became cool again to spazz about a band's getting big overnight thanks to the Power of the Internet. Ah, fuck: Pitchfork is now telling me it's no longer cool to cash in on the Celebrating Internet Bands revival movement. So I guess that means . . . Wait! VH1 just announced that next week is I Love the Mid-'00s Days of the Indie Internet Sensations. We're saved! Hurry—read this list before it becomes uncool!
Oh No! Oh My!
From: Austin, Texas. Status: Waxing gibbous. Origin Story: Sent self-recorded demo to one solitary music blog, Music for Robots, which posted song "Jane Is Fat"; sold CD-R LP for $1.50 on Web site. Result: Just played Lollapalooza. Gordon Gano or David Byrne? Gordon Gano, plus Belle & Sebastian.
From: San Francisco, Calif. Status: Waxing gibbous. Origin Story: Self- recorded "Resurrection Song" championed by blogs Gorilla vs. Bear, Music for Robots. Result: Hotshot producer helms debut, which band puts out independently; incessant U.S. touring. Gordon Gano or David Byrne? Actually, more like Springsteen covering the Pixies.
Tapes 'n' Tapes
From: Minneapolis, Minn. Status: Full moon. Origin Story: Records debut in barn; again with the Music for Robots. Result: Pitchfork crowns Best New Music; band plays Letterman, everywhere else. Gordon Gano or David Byrne? Gordon Gano, but forgivably so.
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah
From: Brooklyn. Status: Waning gibbous. Origin Story: Band's stupid name draws the attention of Said the Gramophone blogger. Result: P-Fork proclaims Best New Music; CYHSY become synonymous with backlash toward Internet bands. Gordon Gano or David Byrne? Little of both, but David Byrne impression is at times insufferable.