Opens at Metro, Fri., Sept. 22. Rated R. 94 minutes.

This chaotic mockumentary in the finest tradition of English vulgarity has nothing whatever to say about marriage. It's a loud belch in the face of a billion-dollar wedding industry that has sprung up to service the longings of the postfeminist young for ceremonial opulence. The movie's fertile subject is themed marriage ceremonies, and the conceit is a contest, carelessly hatched by the publishers of a glossy wedding magazine, between three engaged couples to come up with the best gimmick for their nuptial hours, with the winner scoring a million-dollar mansion. A couple of giddy wedding planners (Vincent Franklin and Jason Watkins) will help them realize their dreams of getting spliced, respectively, while playing tennis, while stark naked, and while dancing a Busby Berkeley spectacular. That all three couples are utterly useless in their chosen fields of performance goes without saying. But the couples' lack of talent or finesse pales before the aggravations of meddlesome friends and family, prominent among them a terrific Alison Steadman, former wife and collaborator of Mike Leigh, as an interfering mum with a basilisk stare guaranteed to freeze the balls off the hapless planners. ELLA TAYLOR

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