What Gives With This Hot-and-Cold Shock Treatment?

Dear Dategirl,

Just over a year ago, I met a man who I instantly felt that tingly buzz for. Our personalities meshed, and it was soon evident we shared a mutual attraction. But I was involved with someone, and given the fact that this man lives a couple hundred miles away, I decided not to pursue anything.

Recently, we saw each other, and his calls become incessant—and very flattering. He reconfirmed what I had thought upon our first meeting and even was willing to take it one step further, stating his intentions for us to "get together" for a weekend to see where things take us. Upon planning our weekend, in a neutral city—Las Vegas—he's suddenly become very busy at work and stopped calling/e-mailing. Almost noncommittal.

I'm not the type of woman to chase a guy and won't do it. What gives with this hot-and-cold shock treatment?Fever Then Chills

My guess: His wife found out. My advice: Move on.

I have been reading your recent letters and wonder, when girls look at me, are they picturing me naked? They seem so coy and often seem offended if I stare at their breasts or give them the "elevator eye." It's only natural for guys to fantasize, but do girls do the same? I have a good eye and can do a three-second checkout and know what lies under the hood. I guess I wonder what part of me they check out first, my personality, face, or butt? Girls always say the person is most important, at least that's the line I get when I want to get naked. Like, "Is that all you want, my body?"

Are they putting me on, or what?Muffinman

Oh yeah, we ladies definitely check out a guy's personality first. Pfft. And when we fantasize about sex, it involves white steeds, pink clouds, and soaring orchestral maneuvers. Snort. I've got news for you, pal: Women and men aren't so different.

But if you're constantly getting shot down, I'd have to say that you're either hitting on women who don't find you attractive, or you're such a blatant boob-watcher that you're giving them the creeps.

See, there's the big difference between men and women; if she's hot enough, a guy will forgive pretty much any idiotic tendencies the woman might possess in order to gain access to her panties. She could have 1,000 cats, live in her mom's basement, and speak in tongues, but a guy can ignore all that and still happily bend her over and stick it in. Conversely, though we love a fine-looking specimen, most broads aren't going to be lining up to bump uglies if he's also a creepy mouth-breather who talks exclusively to our tits. So you might wanna work on finessing that technique.

I work at a coffee shop, and every morning, numerous very hot construction workers come in. I've been out of the dating loop for a while, and my skills are rusty, so it's taken me a while to work up the nerve to be flirtatious, but I'm getting there. It's also tough to establish a rapport when I'm also trying to serve a room full of people.

The problem is that construction jobs change, so just as I'm finding my groove, the guy I'm working on finishes his job and moves on.It makes me bolder (what do I have to lose if he won't be back next week?), but I really just want to meet these guys in a social setting. So my question is, where do these guys hang out? Are there bars that construction workers frequent?Hot for Hard Hats

I have no idea where construction workers hang their hard hats, but there's one very easy way to find out—ask one. Pick a Tommy Toolbelt, tell him you're bored with your usual hangs, and ask if he has any ideas. Just don't get too hammered. Heh.

Dating dilemmas? Write Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

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