What's the Big Panic to Shack Up?

Dear Dategirl, I've been with my boyfriend for six months. Everything is amazing, and I've never felt this way about anyone before. We live in separate apartments, but both of our leases will be up at the same time in a couple of months. He wants to move in together. I love him very, very much, but I don't know if I want to move in together yet. I'm afraid he will take this the wrong way. It is kind of annoying going back and forth between our places and always leaving stuff behind, and I spend pretty much every night at his place anyway, but I really like having the knowledge that I have my own place to go to if I just feel like being alone. My friend who lives with her boyfriend says there are disadvantages to it, such as he tends to get lazy about planning things for them to do together, since they already see each other all the time. I would really like your opinion. Oh, I guess I didn't mention that I'm 21 and this would be my first time living with someone, so maybe that's why I'm so hesitant. Also, there would be no financial advantage, since we both already have roommates.Questioning Cohabitation

Oh, sweetcheeks, you're so young and you two have only been dating a few months—what's his big panic to shack up? Shouldn't he be happily playing beer pong with his roomies on your off nights? Doesn't he know that once you move in he'll have to purchase items like sheets and pillows? And you! You know what happens when you move in with your boyfriend? All pretense of romance goes out the window. He no longer holds in his farts or his burps. And guess what—he's going to find out that you poop and, worse, that your shit does, in fact, stink. All those cute romantic dates you have? Kiss 'em buh-bye and say hello to nights spent trying to wrestle the remote out of his hand. Good luck with that. You know how your parents always argued about how your dad didn't do his fair share around the house? Welcome to turning into your mom before you've even hatched your first stretch mark. Of course, living together does have some advantages (mainly 24/7 boner access), but mostly, if you're not 100 percent sold on the idea, don't do it. Explain that you love him and you'd like it to stay that way. And now, a heartwarming Valentine's public service announcement from another satisfied reader: A few years ago, you wrote a column about dating online and luck. I was one of those nonbelievers—those fearful single people who would not do it. I was certain the only people who used online ads were bizarre, odd-footed men with twitches and nail fetishes. This was clearly not for me. But, after a long dry spell followed by a few really bad dates from friends, bar flies, and yes, a bus-stop fly, it was time for a new game plan. And I must say, I've been pleasantly surprised by the pool of decent, attractive human beings, available at the click of a button. Not all dates have led to second dates, but they have led to some great friendships. More important, I'm dating and no longer on the dry spell from hell. So, this Valentine's Day, if you're sitting at home and wondering where your Prince Charming is, be safe, be smart, but take a chance.S. Kitten

Ask my boyfriend (whom I met online) and he'll tell you that there is no sentence I love more than "You were right." He can tell me I'm gorgeous and smart, but the one that peels the panties off quickest are those three little words. So thank you, Ms. Kitten, for the best Valentine ever! Dating dilemmas? Write Dategirl at dategirl@seattleweekly.com or c/o Seattle Weekly, 1008 Western Ave., Ste. 300, Seattle, WA 98104.

comments powered by Disqus

Friends to Follow