And You Thought “Say WA” Was Bad

Try living with “Way less prostitution than when it was a Red Light District.”

The Weekly's offices are situated in the "West Edge" neighborhood. This moniker was manufactured around the turn of the 21st century, evidently because "we're in between the Market and Pioneer Square" wasn't cutting it. It's yet to stick. This may be why: On First and Seneca, the entire south side of a building has long served as a reminder to all what neighborhood they're in and why they're there. "West Edge," reads the mural, "There's nothing dull about it!" Does it get any more defensive than that? Actually, it does. Here is a list of shelved slogans for better-known Seattle neighborhoods, which fortunately opted for more cheery catchphrases—or, smarter yet, no phrase at all: Belltown: Tons more halter tops than crack pipes. Bitter Lake: Just pretend the dead body you reeled in is an overweight mannequin. West Seattle: Your commute won't be totally fucked until 2012. Montlake: If you guzzle enough Benadryl, 520 won't wake you up at night. Queen Anne: Nowhere near as many hate crimes as Capitol Hill. White Center: Way less prostitution than when it was a Red Light District. Broadmoor: Even though Poison Ivy was bad, Tom Skerritt wasn't that bad in it. Madrona: A whole lot tamer than when the Black Panthers were headquartered here. Interbay: At least the golf course isn't a landfill anymore. Greenlake: Only the occasional sexual assault—and those people should know better than to jog at night.

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