Seattle Men Need to Grow a Pair

And bravo for the "new breeze" at SPU.

Re: "The Gay in Congregation" by Laura Onstot (May 21)What do BYU and Northwest U's administrators fear would happen if Soulforce was allowed to speak openly with students? People would make up their own minds? Oh, the horror!—Peter DavisTrust me. This IS a huge new direction for SPU. I entered SPU in '84 and graduated in '89. Though the application was denied, change will come and I am proud of the administration even if it was only the appearance of giving fair consideration. Kudos to you all and kudos to the 800 that signed your petition. I am proud to be both a lesbian and a Christian—because I know that God claims me and always will.—Karen Zeller LaneThanks for the great work on this piece. I'm a relatively recent alum, but man, what a difference it would have made for me and so many others to have this group on campus then. Had drinks with a group of SPU alums tonight, all of us Christian, gay, and straight, looking forward to the time a new breeze blows on the north slope of Queen Anne.—03 alumBravo to Haven—keep it up. People like you might actually prompt me to go to church again.—GailRe: "The Fear Factor" by Dategirl aka Judy McGuire (May 21)Sorry, but I have no sympathy for this guy. In my experience, give a man the least chance to believe he has the upper hand in a relationship, especially the delusion that he is the pursued, and he will develop an attitude that will never change. In other words, you wanted him, so now he has the power. This is how even the sweetest man will see it and this is how he will act, to the point of turning you down just because he can. He will do it gleefully with an ego-fed song in his heart, even if he had previously been very interested in you.I am in most other ways a rabid feminist, but when it comes to the beginning of a relationship, how it starts is the way it will continue. Never ask a man out, unless it's an innocuous, group-oriented, not-romantic occasion. And even then think twice. You might be creating a monster.—ZieglindaI've dated a ton but not in the last two years since hitting 40. Married men hit on me constantly so I know I haven't taken a dive for the worse, and I'm often confused for age 34. I'm tall and slender, have a great job, many talents, own a home, have no kids, have a college degree, dress from nice shops. I'm credit-card-debt-free and have no cats! No one asks me out. People assume I have a boyfriend. Travel to another state, however, and I might as well have money pasted to me: I'm a hit. What gives, Seattle???I don't ask men out. If they didn't ask first, I would find them too passive for my tastes. Go after what you want. (You know you won't be happy, guys, if you don't get the chase.)—LisaSpeaking from the gent's point of view, I have loved being asked out. I never saw it as desperation or anything other than a compliment, and a sincere one at that. The brazen horndog rarely has the ladies' best interests in mind. Sometimes the shy guy who you have to approach first is the gem. Just ask my soon-to-be wife.—JimI've been passive, I've been aggressive, and by and large I have had more bad experiences being aggressive. I've had guys assume that I am way more into them then I actually am because of it. I've also had guys assume that because I was a liberated woman it means I had been "liberated" from the idea of romance. Just because I ask you out doesn't mean I don't like flowers or birthday cards. It doesn't mean you don't have to try.—JJMEEEEEOOOOOWWWWW! Typical Seattle metro-asexual. Grow a pair, dude! Steel yourself, man up, and ask the pretty girl out! Odds are she says no. I promise you, a penicillin shot hurts worse! This is much less of an issue in Boston, Dallas, Atlanta, anywhere but Seattle. You must have been raised by a single mom. It's YOUR JOB to ask the girl out, ya pussy!!Call me an a-hole all you want, but I'm not hurting for dates, because I ASK THEM ALL OUT!—JohnathonRe: "Incog-Neato" by Mike Seely (May 21)If "Mr. Brownstone" and "Aime" are the only songs you can remember when you're drunk, you clearly have a drinking problem, and furthermore may be suffering from the early onset of Alzheimer's disease. I can remember at least six songs when hammered: "Whipping Post," "She Sells Sanctuary," "Piano Man," and three more by Steve Miller that I can't remember the names of when I'm sober.—Shick ShadelRe: "Lime Light" by Erika Hobart (May 14)Ah, memories. That rabbit joke was the thing in the third grade. It sounds like your paramour-to-be forgot the most important step: pulling his pockets inside-out to resemble rabbit ears. I'm sure, then, you can imagine the intended destination of any "petting."—PhilErika Hobart's juvenile column not only managed to malign a fine Kirkland establishment, but insulted everyone Ms. Hobart perceives as being of a lower class than herself. It's hard to imagine a writer for one of the least-read papers in the greater Seattle metropolitan area being uppity, but somehow Ms. Hobart has managed to grant herself the greatest of all illusions: that of self-importance.I do sympathize; it must have been considerably trying to patronize a bar where one is served in a timely fashion, as opposed to having to struggle to be acknowledged. It's an outrage—how dare a bartender do his job well? How infuriating it is to not have to spend half one's time waiting in line for drinks instead of socializing with friends! How appalling it is that a business strives to remain affordable in a time of increasing economic trouble!As for her cheap shots at blue-collar patrons, where would Ms. Hobart prefer they drink? At home? Am I further to assume that Ms. Hobart has never been approached with a bad pickup line in a bar before? She must not often leave her home, as whether one is in Capitol Hill, Belltown, Georgetown, or yes, even Kirkland, one may potentially expect to encounter someone who finds them physically attractive. —Angela SchroederWrite to us at or comment online!

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