This Week's Horoscopes

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22) The curtain rises for the second act of your star performance, and you discover that half the audience left during intermission. This is depressing any way you cut it, but you shouldn't feel bad, because it has so little to do with you. In fact, given that what happened during intermission that made so many people leave was the equivalent of Radiohead putting on a free concert across the street, you should feel pretty psyched that so many people stayed to see what else you could do. You owe your many fans your best performance, even if it hasn't turned out the way you envisioned it. Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22) Remember that others don't always share your balanced, somewhat distanced view of a situation. You can approach certain circumstances with equanimity; since you can see the benefits of multiple possible outcomes, it's easy for you simply to wait and see what happens. However, others don't necessarily share that perspective. Take their impatience, urgency, or distress into account. You have the power here to make things easier, more pleasant, or more fulfilling for someone. Or you can sit back and just watch—but I'm betting (and hoping) you're not that unkind. Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21) Just because you show up late to the game doesn't mean you can't excel at it. Many late bloomers have proven that it's not an insurmountable disadvantage to discover a new passion later in life. Yes, you may have to work harder and overcome more obstacles than someone who's been at it for years, but few can match the follow-through of a determined (i.e., obsessed) Scorpio. There's very little you should rule out; unless your ambition is to be an Olympic gymnast or a child prodigy, it's probably not too late. I would, however, quit wasting time, and get to it. Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21) You just can't win, can you? Your original decision got you so much flak from someone important to you that you actually changed your stubborn mind. That made that person happy, but pissed off a whole bunch of other people. What a mess—and there's no easy way out. You have to (yet again) accept a simple truth: You can't please everybody. Stop trying. Ultimately, you need to measure your actions against a yardstick that's more reliable than gauging people's fickle acceptance or conditional approval. Try simply doing what's right—or at the very least what's right for you. Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19) What's good for your love life sucks for your career right now, and vice-versa. The more you go out of your way to please your boss, the more pissed off your lover will get. And your fervent wishes that your workmates be understanding about the demands of your personal life won't make it so. The difficult line you must walk now requires that you satisfy enough of the needs of both career and relationship so that you get neither fired nor dumped. I don't envy you that tightrope juggling act. Unfortunately, unless you're willing to give up one or the other for good, that's the one you'll have to perform. Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18) Some of the best opportunities in your life are fleeting ones. In order to take advantage of them, you have to be poised to act on a moment's notice, to take a graceful, Matrix-like leap into the open window of a moving train, chasing something beautiful. Even if you can't quite be that spontaneous and open, just keeping your eyes open and your courage fired up should keep you from missing out on much. Don't be a chicken. You'll almost always regret the things you didn't do a lot more than the things you did. Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20) When you have few options, the path forward is clear. Having many brilliant possibilities before you, however, complicates the situation and forces you to make the kinds of decisions you usually suck at. Would that we were all so "unlucky" as to have a plethora of amazing choices available to us. To you, it's torture; to someone like a Leo or a Taurus (two signs that have no problem making up their minds), it'd be heaven. When faced with multiple possibilities, try to be like one of those decisive signs. Instead of agonizing over which of these potentially amazing paths is the right one, simply choose one that feels great and make it the right path. Aries (March 21–April 19) Considering how strong-willed, bullheaded, and focused you usually are, I'm shocked that someone is even close to convincing you to pursue something you don't really want (or deny yourself something you actually do). I can't believe I have to remind you of this: Own your desires. There's nothing wrong with them, and other people's ideas about what you should or shouldn't aim for have nothing to do with what's truly in your heart. Don't let them sway you. It's OK to hear and consider what others have to say, but ultimately if the voice of your own heart's true desires doesn't carry more weight than the words of the person standing next to you, something's wrong. Taurus (April 20–May 20) The niceties of civilized society have mutated with the advent of new technology. We're more connected than we've ever been, and have less privacy. This is what it is. Times change, and you can cling to your old-school ideals all you like. Some may even respect you for it. But when they start holding you back from achieving your own hopes and dreams, it may be worth reconsidering some of them. Is it possible that your stubborn refusal to let go of outdated ideas is keeping you from a job, a lover, or some other opportunity? While it's certainly possible that this simply means it's the wrong career/relationship/chance for you, it could also mean you're holding yourself back just because you're not willing to change. Don't be stubborn just to be stubborn—and pay attention to what it's costing you. Gemini (May 21–June 20) Consider your audience. You may be right and those you're calling to account in the wrong, but the people listening to you might not see it so clearly. What do you actually hope to achieve by taking a stand here and now? Will the tactics you've chosen accomplish that? Do you think observers would have a more favorable opinion of you after your actions, or a less favorable opinion of those you oppose? Your heart's in the right place, but the way you're pursuing your goals is likely to leave you further from them than when you started. This is not an ends-justify-the-means scenario, but your desired ends should certainly inform your means; that is, you should make sure the path you're on actually leads to where you want to go—before you take another step. Cancer (June 21–July 22) All your best intentions amount to nothing if you're really going to give up as soon as you encounter trouble. This is the path you've chosen, and you should have been able to see from the get-go that it would be a rocky one. Even if you didn't, you ought to be able to guess that giving up now would invalidate most of what you've been up to the past couple of months, putting you pretty much back to square one. Don't be so wimpy. You can get through this, and you should. This is a bump in the road, nothing more. If you see it as an immovable mountain, you're not yet looking at it in the right way. Leo (July 23–Aug. 22) Your patience has been at an all-time low these past few weeks. You've noticed, haven't you? You feel like you've been waiting hours; you check your watch and are shocked to discover it's only been minutes. Two weeks feel like a year. The clock may be ticking, but it's time to get yours checked out, since it's obviously wound way too tight. What do you need to slow it down to a more normal and manageable speed? This week, figure that out, before you sprint to the finish line so fast that the other people in the race with you decide it's not even worth running.

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