So Who Do You Think Should Pay for Dinner?

One reason it's easier to be gay. Also: The P-I begs to differ.

Re: "The War on Error" by Jesse Froehling (September 17)In your story about Mark Powell and his dispute with the P-I, you allowed him to say unchallenged that our film reviewer, Bill Arnold, is a "fraud" with "desperate ethical problems." I think that's highly irresponsible of him—and you. Mr. Powell has no basis for these claims, and they are untrue and defamatory.Mr. Powell has taken his copy-editing jihad (and job-seeking ploy) over the edge with that assertion. It's one thing for him to point out technical errors in five-year-old film reviews, but it's another to cast aspersions on the ethics of a journalist who has been an admired and trusted voice in Seattle arts coverage for decades. It's unfortunate that he was given a soapbox from which to make such a specious claim.—David McCumber, Managing Editor of the P-ISW replies: We left numerous messages for Mr. Arnold, which were not returned. The P-I's reader representative also declined to comment beyond what we included in the story.Re: "Purple Heartbreak" by Nina Shapiro (September 24)I feel for anyone that has to go to battle and appreciate everyone in the military. But no other job would tolerate drug use—teachers, police, etc. Good for the military for having high standards—it makes me that much prouder. Who's to say they wouldn't turn to drugs even if they hadn't gone overseas?—JimThese two people in this article are both useless. Stuff got too hard for them and they just wanted out. Siegel is not innocent, he had some major issues before he joined the army and now he is blaming them on the incident. That is the easy way out, and he wants people to feel sorry for his mistakes in life. Me being blown up three times over two tours, I don't have any problem, they are just weak-minded.—TylerI served 20 years in the military, and at any time this individual could have taken his problems to myriad people: priest, commander, medical doctors, family service centers, etc. We are all trained annually about these programs (as a minimum).—Joshua HudsonSirs: Your depiction of the Purple Heart Medal with lines of cocaine on its surface dishonors all servicemen who have shed blood for our country. You should be ashamed. —L. LutherRe: "The Suits" by Laura Onstot (October 1)These can't be the only organs that [the King County Medical Examiner's] office has kept. Have they kept the brains of anyone else who has died? How about the elderly or children? Someone should ask some more questions. —realtruthRe: "Every Vote (Kind of) Counts" by Rick Anderson (October 1)It is very frightening that people who cannot read a simple ballot are expected to make decisions on who is best to lead our country. —ElaineRe: "Dategirl" by Judy McGuire (online, October 1)You didn't exactly answer his questions. You seemed more concerned with defending your belief that there is a gender wage gap. I have researched the issue at length and there is nothing I know of (beyond radical feminist writings) that actually attributes the statistical wage gap to discrimination against women. Every single objective report (i.e., non-feminist driven) on the issue concludes that the wage gap is the result of personal choices women make regarding employment. This makes sense when you consider things like time out for child raising; taking less risky, more comfortable jobs; wanting to work fewer hours with more flex time; not wanting to work at night or travel, etc. Considering that 96%+ of work-related deaths are men, I think it's pretty clear that men take on the harder, dirtier, riskier jobs. Yet this "wage gap is the result of discrimination" myth stubbornly persists and is reinforced by posts like yours. —BoulderGuyIt is basic male psychology to value women as much as women value themselves and not a tad more. Men need to scale high mountains and conquer obstacles and prove themselves. Cash is a very easy way to do that. A wise woman should occasionally spoil a man by taking him out and paying for everything; but the rest of the time, it should be his check and he should be happy to pay it.This is the fruit of bitter experience since, as a liberated, self-supporting, but infinitely stupid female, I have always paid my share of the bill. —JoannaMen don't appreciate what they don't have to put any effort, or money, into. And in my experience, men who don't like paying for dinner tend to be cheap in other areas as well, including emotionally. What's the big deal anyway, spending a bit of money for food? If it's gonna break you, find something less expensive to do. —zieglindaWhat I think "Jonathan" doesn't understand is that there is a difference between being chivalrous and being chauvinist. Just like there is a difference being strong-minded and being bitchy.If you are asking someone out you should expect to pay; it's good manners. If you invited someone over and cooked dinner for them, you wouldn't expect them to pay for half the cost of groceries and then expect to be financially compensated for labor, would you? I don't think it's surprising or alarming that many women like to be treated politely. —JJSeems to me it's a matter of "Are we in this together?" or not. It's worth guessing the total in advance and laying a twenty (or two, or much much more) on the table if either of you want to show the other that this is what life together could be like. We can be equal contributors if we are going to keep going out. You'd see me reaching for my purse as soon as the check comes, which would be my way of showing that I'm ready to join in and pay my share. —SondariThe man still pays for the meal for the same reason that the woman still spends an hour getting ready and a TON of money on cosmetics and clothes (probably much more than the man spends on her half of dinner!). Classic ideals exist within our culture, despite our verbal contradictions. Many women enjoy the feeling of being treated well and taken care of. Many men enjoy the feeling of being able to take out a beautiful, well-groomed, feminine lady. —MahriahWrite to us at!

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