Fanboys: Enough With the Star Wars Nostalgia Already

This dust-gatherer about four friends traveling cross-country in 1998 to sneak a peek at a rough cut of Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace is meant for the dude content to simply stare at an Imperial stormtrooper's empty helmet for 90 minutes. It's for the two childhood friends who parted ways back in junior high over a dispute about whether Captain James T. Kirk could kick Han Solo's ass. And it's for every girl who ever donned a Princess Leia Jabba's-palace-slave-girl costume, lest her boyfriend refuse her access to the Dianoga under his robe. (And, yes, it's for everyone who knows that a Dianoga is the tentacled, one-eyed creature living in the Death Star's garbage masher. Just ask my 5-year-old.) So there's your target audience—Kevin Smith, in other words, who cameos as himself in a film loaded with more what-the? guests than an entire season of The Love Boat. The rest of you, find something—anything—better to do, which shouldn't be terribly hard.

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