Yankees @ Mariners

When the Red Sox or Yankees (and, evidently, the Blue Jays) come to town, Mariners fans are often outnumbered, or at least out-vocalized, in the stands. This is unacceptable, especially when it’s the fucking Yankees, who still have fucking A-Rod on their team. In short, any Yankee fan who’s not from fucking New York (or at least lived there for a spell) can fucking go fuck themselves, the bandwagon-hopping, fair-weather fucks. Granted, if you say “fuck” too many times in Safeco Field, you’re liable to get tossed out on your fucking ass, but who fucking cares at this point? While the M’s have had a brilliant season based on what was expected of them heading into this year (zilch), there’s fucking nothing left to play for now—no fucking pennant, no fucking playoffs. Really, the only reasons to visit Safeco Fucking Field at this juncture in the season are to: (a) watch Ken Griffey Jr. play what could be the fucking final games of his fucking career, or (b) fucking boo the fucking Yankees, because they fucking suck, even if they’re the best fucking team in baseball, record-wise. MIKE SEELY

Fri., Sept. 18, 7:10 p.m.; Sat., Sept. 19, 6:10 p.m.; Sun., Sept. 20, 1:10 p.m., 2009

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