This Week's Horoscope

Gemini (May 21–June 20)In an episode of Doctor Who, the doctor and his companions were presented with a choice between dream and reality. They were forced to confront their desires, which might otherwise compel them to remain in the dream they wanted to be reality. Sound familiar? Of course, both situations before you exist in reality—nevertheless, one is still partially composed of fantasy. Which do you want? The half-imaginary scenario that may never become more real than it is right now, no matter how much you wish for it? Or the place where everything is exactly what it seems (and, yes, slightly less colorful than the one you half dreamed up)? I can't choose for you—but this week you must choose nevertheless.Cancer (June 21–July 22)Here we go again. You adore extremes like a fat kid loves cake. You're like an Amish guy who decides to go from not allowing any photos to be taken to starring in gay porn. There's a spectrum here, but you're only looking at the two furthest points. You have more choices than that; it doesn't have to be full-on or not at all. Try to find a middle path this week. All or nothing are terrible options; neither is particularly viable, or likely to make you happy. There's a million shades of color between those two stark opposites. Notice that—once you do, finding one that suits you shouldn't be all that difficult.Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)Not everyone will love you. Some people will actively dislike and disparage you. Of course, there's always the youthful temptation to give as good as you get (and probably better), and sling back a few witty insults. This can be fun, and it's OK if you occasionally indulge it. However, sometimes mucking around in the dirt is simply inappropriate. That's when your marvelous grace and good manners (which are excellent when you choose to exercise them) will serve you well. This week is such a time. Stay frosty, no matter how low the blows go.Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)The golden rule serves you well—until it doesn't. What happens if treating someone as you'd like to be treated in their shoes is quite the opposite of what they'd prefer? Tell a wife about her cheating husband and she may not be as grateful as you'd be in her place—perhaps you've just shattered a comforting illusion she preferred to a complicated reality. This week, you actually need to step outside yourself and use all your intuition to figure out how to best honor the platinum rule: Treat others in such a way as to create the greatest amount of happiness in their lives—even when that conflicts with the golden rule.Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)Blood family does not trump chosen family unless you decide it does. Wouldn't you agree that someone's adoptive father who raised them from infancy to adulthood has more of a claim to the "Dad" title than the guy who originally provided the sperm? The same goes for the people you've chosen in your life. They get to keep being in your life, and those bonds can be just as strong and valuable as any of those dictated by genetics—as long as you deem it so. Don't let the world's rules be your rules, not when you have the absolute power (at least in this case) to make your own.Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)The appropriate response when you learn an assumption is dead wrong is probably embarrassment and apology. However, that's not always the easiest thing for you proud and stubborn Scorpios to muster on the spot. I've seen Scorps come up with some pretty insane cover stories to explain their gaffes. Of course, this usually just digs the hole a bit deeper, because it's perfectly obvious to everyone what's happened. Relax. It's no big deal; we're all human, and everyone has had moments like these. Own it. Have a good laugh. It might be difficult at first—but you'll get better with practice.Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)What's your first response when your Internet connection seems a bit sluggish? Usually, you'll want to reset the modem. Starting fresh isn't always quite the same when you're working with something more complex than a small home appliance, but it's still possible to some extent. Sex life gotten a bit slow or stale? Conversation turning in circles? Career stagnated? You may need to unplug the pieces and try to start from scratch, being careful to head in a totally new direction (following the same path, of course, would end you up right back here). If you want to hit reset and start over, this week is the perfect time.Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)Go on. Get out on that limb. Stick your neck out. Nothing's going to happen unless you put what you want out there. Yes, you may not get what you want, but at least you'll know you've tried. Can you create an opening for the situation you desire, while being OK with whatever outcome results? I think you can. Let's say, for instance, you wanted to hook up with someone. It's perfectly viable to say "Hey, ___, I think you're hot and would like to hook up. If you're not into it, though, that's cool—we can forget I ever asked." Then, of course, it's up to you to walk the walk you just talked.Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)They say that good things come to those who wait. False. Oh, sure, it's true some of the time—but most of the time, nothing comes to those who wait; it's already gone to the people who stepped up and put themselves out there and strove for it. Patience can be a virtue, but it's one I'd put aside for now, if I were you. You need to be hungry, impatient, and motivated. It's time to push for what you want, persistently and stubbornly. Sitting on your hands will get you exactly nowhere and nothing—so don't do it.Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)Don't buy something just because it's on sale. Enjoy a sale when it's for something you purchase all the time; otherwise this "opportunity" is just a scam, and you're falling for it. Of course, there are exceptions, but much of the time you end up with something you'd never have gone shopping for in the first place. It may be difficult to ignore the flashing "75% off" signs, but you need to try. Attempt to clearly consider whether what's on offer is really something you need in your life. The answer—despite the incredible "value"—is probably no. Stick to that.Aries (March 21–April 19)If you've got your heart set on a particular version of reality, why are you settling for the one you've got? Is it because you're lazy? Or is it perhaps that you're not confident that you actually could manifest anything like what you're fantasizing about, and so are unwilling to risk the so-so version you've got now? That's foolish. What is life if not risk? In this case, you should never settle—not when what you really want is perfectly achievable with a lot of hard work and just a bit of luck. Get to it, already.Taurus (April 20–May 20)Do what you need to do to motivate yourself, within reason. Obviously, promising yourself a massive banana split if you go to the gym isn't particularly helpful. But surely there's something you can offer yourself that wouldn't be quite so self-defeating—that in fact might be simultaneously a motivating treat as well as an advance toward your goals, however subtly or slightly. You've always worked better when you've had a carrot to goad you on. Don't deny yourself that reward. There's a way to make a total win/win happen here—it's up to you to simply choose wisely to make it so.

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