The Weekly Wire: The Week’s Recommended Events

WEDNESDAY 6/23Arts/Sports: Watch Out for Elin!Practice your backswing and prepare to tee off. For the KAC Links Invitational, a dozen artists have transformed the gallery into a playable nine-hole miniature golf course. Each given a four-by-eight square of AstroTurf, they variously added conveyor belts, juice cups, plywood, and more to create these innovative designs. 7 Ways to Enjoy Washing the Dishes, by Ben Hirschkoff and Jason Wood, requires you to stand atop a kitchen sink and aim for the drain. More challenging still is Tiger's Lament, by Trevor Johnson and Ryan Molenkamp, set up to resemble the scene of Tiger Woods' notorious car crash. (It even includes a movable wood cutout of a woman wielding a golf club, à la Elin Nordegren, which you can operate via string to distract your opponent.) This accessible installation is sure to keep art connoisseurs and kids alike amused. Those with a competitive spirit, take note: The average visitor score so far is 25. (Continues through July 29; circle your calendar for the July 24 closing party featuring music by artist Whiting Tennis, cocktails, and a golf-themed costume contest.) Kirkland Arts Center, 620 Market St., 425-827-8219, Free. 11 a.m.–6 p.m. ERIKA HOBARTMusic: Eat to The Beat"Skanking" has nothing to do with Paris Hilton or any of her celebrity/ho ilk. The dance originated in Jamaican dancehalls in the '60s, where clubgoers grooved to bluebeat, ska, rocksteady, and eventually reggae. It's not hard to do—you stand square, slightly bent at the waist, rocking from one foot to the other, arms right-angled, swinging in an uppercut motion (don't hit anyone; it's not a mosh pit). Expect an open-air outbreak of skanking this afternoon. The English Beat are the second of 23 scheduled bands in the downtown Out to Lunch summer concert series (which runs most Wednesdays and Fridays through Sept. 3). The Beat, from working-class Birmingham, made their mark in the late '70s/early '80s as a wildly popular, multiracial, second-generation ska band. With chugging rhythms and punk energy, they offered a message of peace, respect, and unity—plus some sharp criticisms of Thatcher's England. Only one original member is left, vocalist/guitarist Dave Wakeling, but his backing band is tight, and songs like "Save It for Later" and "Twist & Crawl" are timeless. Westlake Park, 401 Pine St., Free. Noon–1:30 p.m. MICHAEL MAHONEYFRIDAY 6/25Visual Arts: Keyboard ExplosionThe vintage contraptions that Canadian artist Andre Petterson depicts on large panels look like yard-sale finds: old typewriters with missing keys; pre-electric sewing machines with their gears bent out of shape; adding machines that were obsolete even before the first pocket calculators. All seem to be exploding or bleeding onto their white backing. Inky squiggles suggest the jumbled linework of Ralph Steadman, as these old machines erupt and spill their guts. There's something sad about their decay and desuetude, the unspooled typewriter ribbons and paperless platens. The show's title, "Stitch-Print," refers to what these hulks are no longer capable of doing. Yet even in death, they're more lively than your crashed computer or drained cell phone. Our new gadgets won't be as interesting when they reach the end of their very short lives. (Ends Sat.) Foster/White Gallery, 220 Third Ave. S., 622-2833, Free. 10 a.m.–6 p.m. BRIAN MILLEROutdoor Parties: Cocktails and CaldersMuch as we love the Olympic Sculpture Park, SAM can be a little persnickety about the place. It closes too soon in summer. No booze is allowed. The security dudes and loudspeakers blaring "Please walk your bike!"—when you're using the ramps up and over a mile-long freight train—are seriously annoying. But for a premium ticket, the annual Party in the Park fund-raiser allows artgoers to enjoy the place like adults. As the sun sets over Elliott Bay, the OSP will be closed to joggers, tourists, hobos, bikers, and other unruly riff-raff. KEXP's DJ Darek Mazzone will begin spinning tunes at dusk. You'll be able to nosh on hors d'oeuvres, drink from a hosted bar, and wander the gravel paths in dressy summer attire. Mudhoney will play a set. (Speaking of grunge, your ticket also gets you a VIP pass to the museum's ongoing Kurt Cobain show downtown.) Given the spectacular setting and music, it'll be like the Gorge for grown-ups. Olympic Sculpture Park, 2901 Western Ave., 654-3100, $75–$125 (21 and over). 8:30 p.m.–12:30 a.m. BRIAN MILLERIndoor Parties: Who You Callin' a Hag?Being a fag hag can be frustrating, starting with the unflattering terminology. (May I suggest "flame dame" instead?) Then, adding insult to injury, ladies, how many times have you accompanied your gay friends to a club, only to be abandoned on arrival so they can get their game on? So as a preamble to PrideFest, the unsung heroines of the gay community are being honored (finally!) at the Fag Hag Bash. Girls, bring your fags, make them buy you $1 jello shots, and dance the night away to pop-infused sets from DJ HomoNégro and DJ Potatoes. Also, come in costume to compete for the coveted title of Queen Fag and Hag. For ideas, see: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. (Allegedly!) The Capitol Club, 414 E. Pine St., 325-2149, Free (21 and over). 10 p.m.–2 a.m. ERIKA HOBARTVisual Arts: Eruption AnniversaryThere have been hundreds of New Yorker cartoons about natives trying to propitiate, or understand, the gods who make volcanoes erupt. Looking back at the 30th anniversary of the Mount St. Helens disaster, a dozen Northwest artists in "Blow Up" render the collapsed cone in a variety of ways. Grace Weston photographs bright-colored, frilly dresses on a clothesline fluttering before a backdrop of dark, angry smoke. Gary Taxali turns the peak into cartoon pyramid figures. Photographed at night by Len Jenshel and Diane Cook, St. Helens is like a low, crouching beast. Rachel Maxi paints the mountain at diminutive scale—reducing the once-mighty volcano into a matchbox, something you can hold in your hand or put in your pocket. The fire is out and the danger passed. (Ends Sat.) G. Gibson Gallery, 300 S. Washington St. (Tashiro Kaplan Building), 587-4033, Free. 11 a.m.–5 p.m. BRIAN MILLERComedy: Food FighterComedian Aziz Ansari came up through the New York underground comedy scene before earning his break on MTV's Human Giant. He's now starring alongside Amy Poehler on NBC's Parks and Recreation and can be seen in Get Him to the Greek. Yet somehow he also has time to be a very prolific blogger (see:, writing about events in his life that may not have actually happened (e.g., a wild night on the town with track-suited playa Paul Krugman). So, we asked Ansari by e-mail, has he had any other recent celebrity encounters? He replies, "I got into a fight with Tom Colicchio from Top Chef. We had both ended up at the same bar. I was talking to this girl. Colicchio comes over and goes, 'Hey, bro, why don't you pack your knives and get the fuck out of here?' I said, 'Excuse me?' He goes, 'Look bro, I'm on Bravo—I do what I want, and I want to talk to this chick.' I refused, and next thing you know Colicchio throws a handful of coriander in my eyes and slams my head into a bowl of foie gras. I tried to fight back, but Colicchio grabbed my throat and goes, 'If you don't go away, I'll replace your eyeballs with these grilled bacon-wrapped scallops.'" The Moore, 1932 Second Ave., 877-784-4849, $29.50. 7:30 p.m. BEN WESTHOFFSATURDAY 6/26Festivity: Where Troubles Melt Like Lemon DropsPlus-one was not thrilled when he heard about the theme for this year's PrideFest, "Over the Rainbow": "ARE WE 11-YEAR-OLD GIRLS?!" he shouted, only with more swear words. The folks responsible for this brilliantly imaginative leap (The Wizard of Oz's switch from black-and-white to color as a metaphor for coming out? Sheer genius!) also organized the parade, which starts tomorrow (11 a.m. Sunday) at Westlake Park and travels down Fourth Avenue to Seattle Center for the usual celebration of vendor booths, skin glitter, thumpy music, and—weather permitting—fountain dancing and undress. But today (10 a.m.–10 p.m.), the Capitol Hill Pride Festival goes a little more block-partyish, a little more family-friendly, with five blocks of Broadway zoned off for four entertainment stages and a Doggie Drag Costume Contest. Which will surely see no shortage of shih tzus in ruby slippers., GAVIN BORCHERT

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