A pitch-perfect work of B-grade zombie-flick schlock, the 2006 Slither is way more enjoyable than it should be, thanks to a slew of gut-busting one-liners and a devilishly entertaining performance by veteran tough-guy character actor Michael Rooker. Playing a small-town South Carolina tycoon who morphs into a carcass-eating, Fat Bastard-esque squid-man after having his chest penetrated in the woods by alien ringworms, Rooker comes off as a hilarious cross between Jeff Bridges’ character in Starman and Phil Hartman’s Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer. It also doesn’t hurt that Elizabeth Banks (horny Beth from The 40-Year-Old Virgin), playing Rooker’s much younger gold-digging trophy wife, is hotter than Georgia asphalt. But beneath Slither’s gory sheen lies a cautionary tale: Marry for love, and things will break your way; but marry for money, and your husband will turn into a jealous, bloodthirsty, cattle-devouring murderer. Take heed, Daniel’s Broiler clientele. (R) MIKE SEELY

Wed., Jan. 19, 7 p.m., 2011

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