Trashed Cans

Dear Dategirl, I live in White Center and have recently become smitten with a classy young lady from the Eastside who might find the neighborhood a little on the sketchy side. Having also grown up in White Center, I know there was a time when this was arguably true. But now it offers a wonderful mix of cuisines and has some awesome dive bars. Once people get over their initial trepidation, I've never known anyone to not enjoy themselves around here on a Friday or Saturday night. But as for the woman I'm interested in, should I throw her more of a softball on our first date, or should I throw her off the deep end right away? Ultimately, if she doesn't like my neighborhood, she's not going to be the one for me. —Roxbury Rocks You mean should you put her to the test by dragging her to some filthy bucket of blood where the wine comes in boxes, the glassware has scabs, and she'll have to bring cocktail napkins to the can with her when she needs to pee? That depends. Would you be comfortable if she decided to put you through the equivalent wringer? Maybe invite you to dinner with her entire extended family? Then again, maybe her idea of fun would entail a spin class for two. Or perhaps an entire day of shoe-shopping is a better measure of your mettle? After all, fitness and footwear might be very important to her. If you can't keep up, well, maybe you're not the guy for her. I always yell at my girlfriends for getting ahead of themselves, but you, my friend, take the enchilada. You haven't even gone out with her yet, and you're already projecting all these fears and prejudices onto her. Maybe you feel insecure because she has more money? Or suspect she always knows which fork to use? Something must be scaring the crap out of you, because otherwise you wouldn't be breaking up with her before you've even felt her up. Down, boy! It's a good idea to do a first date on neutral territory—i.e., someplace equally inconvenient for both of you. Pick a place where you know you're highly unlikely to run into friends or anyone you've ever seen naked. First dates are nerve-wracking enough without some previous one-night stand throwing a drink in your face. Once you guys get through your first date in Switzerland, you can move on to your neighborhood for the second. Just don't be so defensive about it. I asked around and was told that La Rustica is a nice place for gnocchi and chianti. Once she's fed and warmed up with some wine, you can introduce her to one of your local watering holes—just make sure to pick a nice(ish) one with wine by the bottle. And most important of all—and I can't stress this enough—pick one with a clean, functional ladies' room. This may seem minor to you and maybe even kind of uptight, but men can pee from three feet away. We ladies have to either hover or sit, and there is nothing worse than walking into a bathroom that looks like a crime scene. Plus, I don't know about your lady, but once I've had a few, hovering becomes a little tricky. One minute you're up, the next you're splat onto the inevitably wet and cruddy seat. There is absolutely nothing less conducive to sex than knowing there's a ring of other people's urine on your ass. Except maybe knowing your twat had to be air-dried because there's no TP. Stepping on someone else's used tampon—another buzzkill. Your entire sex life together could depend on this bathroom, so make certain it's up to snuff.

comments powered by Disqus

Friends to Follow