Charlie Sheen

Avoiding Charlie Sheen is impossible these days. Since the highest-paid television actor was fired from Two and a Half Men, his face has been plastered across every tabloid in the grocery store, his affinity for drugs and porn stars documented on every website, and the delusional interview he gave on 20/20—“We win so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it’s scary. People say it’s lonely at the top, but I sure like the view!”—provided so many memorable soundbites that it inspired an iPhone app. The more abhorrent Sheen’s behavior, the more attention he draws. It was only a matter of time before he decided that he ought cash in on his notoriety with a national tour. A ticket to My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat Is Not an Option gets you access to Sheen in the flesh, ranting about ex-wife Denise Richards, raving about “super hot” Mila Kunis, and answering your most prying questions. (For a whopping $575, you also get backstage access and a photo with the actor.) Is he worth it? Ask one of Sheen’s 3.5 million-plus Twitter followers. ERIKA HOBART

Tue., May 3, 8 p.m., 2011

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