*****DUE TO WEATHER, ROSS'S JAN. 19 PERFORMANCE HAS BEEN POSTPONED TO SUN., FEB. 19.
JEFF ROSS ROASTS AMERICA Neptune, 1303 N.E. 45th St., 877-784-4849, stgpresents.org. $25. All ages. 7:30 p.m. Thurs., Jan. 19.
SW: What music have you been listening to today? Did you like it?
Ross: I went hiking today and listened to The Who. It helped me get up the mountain.
What's your preferred method for listening to music (iPod, car, home stereo, etc.)?
Out of a beautiful woman's mouth.
When was the last time you heard "Stairway to Heaven"? Did you turn it off?
Last night at The Comedy Store on the Sunset Strip. Jesus Christ was playing tambourine. I'm not making this up.
Do you play an instrument?
I just started playing guitar again. In fact, I am bringing an exact replica of the Fender Stratocaster I played in high school and college on tour with me right now. The original was stolen off the baggage claim at Newark Airport shortly after my dad passed away. I was in college at the time and so devastated that I stopped playing completely.
Recently my pal, guitarist John Mayer, introduced me to his pal, Mike Ellred, who builds guitars for Fender. He asked me to find pictures of my old Strat. Then two months later a guitar case showed up at my front door with a note from Mike that said "Pretend I beat up the baggage handlers at the airport." I was very touched and decided that sitting on a stand in my living room was no life for a guitar—so I'll be bringing it onstage with me during this "Jeff Ross Roasts America Tour" even though I barely know how to play it.
Do you still listen to anything you were listening to in high school? If so, what?
I reckon I'll always listen to The Clash, the Ramones, Bob Dylan, Public Enemy, and Spring-steen. Every now and then something new seeps into my brain, but those were my high-school faves. I also used to have a mohawk and wear combat boots.
What was the first band/artist you saw in concert?
KISS at Madison Square Garden. My mom was ill so my Aunt Carole took my sister Robyn (currently a Bainbridge Island resident) and I on the bus from Jersey to NYC to see the show. She made us leave during the encores so we could catch the last bus. I still have the ticket stub.
Would you see them again?
Yes. And I have. I even roasted Gene Simmons once. I said, "Gene Simmons is such an asshole, his own asshole changed its name to Murray."
What was the last band/artist you saw in concert? Worth your time?
I saw Mick Jones with Big Audio Dynamite recently. Their show was really interesting and not a retro experience at all. I highly recommend them.
When you sing karaoke, what's your go-to number?
"Maybe This Time" from the Broadway musical Cabaret. It makes women melt. Trust me on this one.
How do you feel about ABBA?
ABBA sucks. Except for "Dancing Queen." I once walked out of the Broadway show Mamma Mia at intermission to go see the comic Brian Regan perform next door.
What is the last song you want to hear before you die?
"Piano Man" by Billy Joel. My mom's favorite.
Please share a favorite musical moment/story from your past.
My grandfather was a great sax player. His stage name was Herb Larson, and he released some rock/jazz albums back in the day. I listened to them recently, and regret not knowing him better. But I do remember him playing "Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey" at my bar mitzvah. That was fun.
Second-to-last question: Is there a more underrated film than Billy Madison?
Never saw it. Don't see a lot of comedies. That's like going to work for me. I go see drama if I want a break. I recently loved Patton Oswalt in Young Adult.
Last question: If you were to roast President Obama, where would you start?
Probably with his giant dick.