It’s a thankless job. Literally thankless. There’s a good chance that Seattle’s 97 parking enforcement officers (PEOs) have never been patted on the back for the job they dutifully undertake – handing out parking tickets at a rate of more than one every 60 seconds. As Ellis Conklin reported last year, in 2012 alone Seattle PEOs doled out a total of 538,102 tickets.
And, as Conklin’s exhaustive reporting found, the ticket writing won these PEOs very few friends. It’s no rarity to have an angry driver on the wrong end of a ticket lash out, usually verbally or in writing. Everything from “LICK MY SACK BITCH BOY,” which was a note once found affixed to a PEO’s high-priced scooter, to the infamous, anonymous letter that arrived in the summer of 1995, which is kept on file for posterity and read in part: “ How dare you give me a parking infraction for something so miniscule, I cannot believe you stinking, donut-eating piece-of-Shits have anything better to do than wait by the fucking money-eating parking meters and handout these ass-stinking tickets.” (NOTE: For the full letter, which you definitely want to read, check out Conklin’s cover story.)
But notes and four-letter tirades are one thing. Vehicular assault is quite another.
According to Seattle Police, that’s exactly what happened Wednesday in North Seattle – and it has all the makings of a much-deserved Dick Move of the Week.
As SPD Detective Jeff Kappel detailed on the agency’s Blotter blog: “At approximately 2:55 p.m. a parking enforcement officer was writing a parking ticket in the 3900 block of Linden Avenue North. The owner of the vehicle being cited arrived on foot and began to get into his vehicle. The PEO told the suspect that she had a citation for him and attempted to hand it to him. The man refused the citation and responded by starting the car and backing it up over the PEO’s foot causing pain and injury. The PEO demanded the driver stop. The suspect acknowledged that he struck the PEO and told her he would park the vehicle. He then drove off in an evasive manner.”
Nobody likes getting a parking ticket, sure, but driving over a PEO’s foot – then taking off – constitutes a serious Dick Move.
Not cool, man. Not cool.
Kappel notes that the injured PEO was taken to the hospital for treatment of her injuries. Despite the fact we hate getting parking tickets, we hope she recovers quickly.
As for the 38-year-old suspect, he was arrested at his home later Wednesday and booked into King County Jail for felony assault and hit and run. We hope he’s learned his lesson, and in the future will take out his anger in a less dangerous manner …
Like writing a profane letter.
Dick Move Runners Up
WSDOT: From Bertha to the 520 pontoon fiasco, it’s been a bad week for Washington’s Department of Transportation. Ineptness that makes Dori Monson sound sane can’t be tolerated.
Boeing: Sure, the machinists accepted the contract, but let us not forget just who’s being evil here. (Hint: It’s still McNerney and Co.)
Fans Stuffing Their Pets in Seahawks Jerseys: We get it. There’s a big game tomorrow. Seattle is football crazy. But I guarantee you your poor cat doesn’t give a crap about any of that. Stop the torture!
KING 5: For running the dystopian headline “Wire thefts leave much of Tacoma without street lights”. I called City of Tacoma Communications Specialist Carrie McCausland. Turns out she “took issue” with the headline as well, telling Seattle Weekly that while there has been a spike in reported street light outages, “proportionally” to the number of street lights in Tacoma, the number of outages is “very small.” “It’s not much,” she says. Tacoma doesn’t need your shitty headlines, KING 5! Major Dick Move.
*About Dick Move of the Week: Every week, Seattle Weekly embarks on the daunting task of sifting through all the dick moves pulled in our fair city to determine which was the biggest, hardest, or otherwise dicky-est of them all. Have a nomination? Email Matt Driscoll, firstname.lastname@example.org .