Seven Things Learned in Just One Day of Sasquatch!

1. Canadians have their own regional biases:

You'd think Canadians would all stick together, Quebec separatists notwithstanding. But Sasquatch! gives us unique insight into the Canadian mind (it's pretty much an all-nation get-together for the people of the north that Americans are allowed to participate in), and I found that they are not united as one. Rather, they have severe regional biases that erupt in bigoted statements such as this one I overheard: “You're from Newfoundland!?!? Fuckin' Newfies!'

2. Liars were the most appropriately named band at the festival:

I actually don't know if it's the band's fault or the festival's fault, but when a luggage mishap caused Liars to show up to Sasquatch! without most of their equipment, they didn't simply get on stage and apologize to fans. Rather, an assortment of band members and roadies walked about the stage doing sound checks and looking around confused for 30 minutes just to ensure that the crowd could hold on to some hope that the band would play (and thus forgo other festival offerings). Only then was it announced—via the Sasquatch! App—that Liars had to cancel. Fuckin' Liars.

Liars keeps the crowd mesmerized with its minimal set.

3. Rappers used to work:

The De La Soul show, which I caught the end of after decamping from the cock-tease that was Liars, clued me in on a strange irony of hip-hop: The more mainstream the genre has gone, the less relatable it's become. Specifically, as the 30-year-old act De La Soul sang “A Roller Skating Jam Named 'Saturdays' about the joys of a day off after a week of putting in hours at work, I tried to imagine contemporary rappers talking about having anything like a normal life that demanded they make money doing honest work. I couldn't. It's anathema to what modern hip-hop is, a competition over who can best describe their immense wealth and ability to get pussy.

4. Drones are everywhere.

Drones like music too, as one cute little guy buzzed in to check out De La Soul and few other acts.

5. Chance the Rapper will take over the work within the next 12 months.

There was an energy to his enormous show that seemed to ensure huge things to come very shortly.

6. Duct tape is as common as toilet paper in the porta potties:

Can't imagine why, but I there are some hypothetical scenarios I've taken the time to illustrate for the readers.

7. Washing hands at the porta-potties is dumb.

Kudos to Sasquatch! for the huge number of porta-potties, for which I never had to stand in line. Also, kudos I guess for having hand washing stations. But, really folks. When you're done washing you hands thoroughly, you're going to shove yourself back into a sea of humanity, bumping and grinding and possibly making out with some stranger. Your fight against germs is futile.

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