Washington State’s annual football game at CenturyLink Field is one to forget. The Cougs’ incompetence combined with heavy rain has driven most fans to the exit. But one sleepy drunk, caught on camera by ESPN, is determined to see the game—and his concessions purchase—to its conclusion. Horizontal in his seat, with his feet draped over the row in front of him, he throws his head back and spills half a bag of popcorn into his mouth—mostly—then chews contentedly like a cow at pasture. The cameras catch him a few moments later, tapping his toes, the collar of his jacket overflowing with misaimed popcorn bits.