We understand you're in a hurry to write up that parking ticket. You know, so little time, so many illegally parked cars.
But listen, there's one thing that you need to know that might not have come up at Meter Maid University. Do not. We repeat, do not, overlook a lifeless body slouched in the passenger seat. Chances are, he or she is not sleeping, but is deader than a doornail.
Yes, this really happened -- and so our cautionary tale begins.
The body belonged to Jayme Earle, 26, who had been listed as missing the previous Thursday.
It was only when a passerby over the weekend called cops to check out the vehicle, which had been parked three days on a downtown street, that his corpse was discovered.
Kalamazoo Police Lt. Chris Franks told The Daily Weekly that the traffic cops (whose named have not been released) worked for Central City Parking and were not real police officers, as some news accounts have suggested they were, and that an investigation is underway by Kalamazoo detectives.
Franks said an autopsy will hopefully determine what caused Earle's death. There were no signs of foul play.
Unfortunately for Central City Parking, Earle will not be able to pay the tickets.