Portland Names Its Arena League Football Team the Thunder

Now they’re just fucking with us.

As if ousting the Sounders from the MLS playoffs, maintaining an NBA team, and subjecting us to the Decemberists wasn’t enough, now Portland is throwing salt in our collective wounds.

According to The Oregonian, Portland has chosen a name for its new Arena Football League team: The Thunder.

Yes, you read that correctly. Our congenial, bearded neighbors to the south could apparently find no other name for their Arena Football League team than one that invokes dry heaves in Seattle from every still-smarting Sonics fan.

As the Oregonian reports:

Prior to today’s announcement, the Portland Thunder accepted team name suggestions from the local community, new season ticket holders and local schools through its “Name the Team” contest. As the first fan to submit “Portland Thunder” as his entry, Seth Johnson of Portland has been declared the winner of the contest. Seth will receive a pair of season tickets to watch the Portland Thunder live in action all season long.

I think I speak for all of us when I say fuck you, Seth Johnson.

That’s a joke, of course. I’ve never met Seth Johnson. I can only assume he’s a great guy with a great mustache and a great fixed-gear bicycle. Still, there were other names available to Portland’s Arena League team that wouldn’t serve as a constant reminder of a certain Oklahoma basketball team we all hate with a passion. Like, the Portland Bike Messengers, perhaps. Or the Portland Dirty Hippies. Or the Portland Anarchists. Or the Portland Food Trucks. Any of these names would have worked.

Of course, the only silver lining in all of this is that no one pays attention to Arena League football, and Seattle still has the real deal in the Seahawks.

Put a bird on that, PDX.

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